Filmette Film Festival - I Am Her
Out of the limelight, under the streetlight, enter the world of NYC’s transgender underclass. One church opens its doors for aid, and sometimes, a little drag show magic. But all is not as it seems.
Interview with Director/Producer Sasha Pezenik
Congratulations! Why did you make your film?
Thanks very much! Actually, this story found me by serendipity. I was just starting my masters' at Columbia Journalism School in the Documentary specialty, and was on my way to cover another assignment, when I came upon this church in the West Village, sort of nestled quaintly between the neon lights... I was curious. When I went in, there was this incredible show going on! When I asked what was going on, I was told that it was a "Gospel Night drag show" for the local LGBTQ community... many of whom were or had been homeless, or needed help.
As I learned more about this community, talked people to people, their lives, their grit, their insights moved me so much. I got more and more invested in their stories, and in the transgender experience - their struggle but also their deep heart, spirit, and strength. So this film for me really unites a lot of issues I'm passionate about - socioeconomic fault lines, gender equality, poverty, religion... I made this film because there's been a lot of media attention to the transgender experience - but it's all been very glitzy. The women whose stories I ultimately told in this film represent a much different reality - and I feel a much more honest one. These were voices that needed to be heard. I made this film because it was too beautiful and poignant story not to be told. I just happened to be there and see it.
Imagine I’m a member of the audience. Why should I watch this film?
So this film sort of sits at the nexus of a lot of issues that are really urgent for our world today - gender identity and equality, poverty, housing, religion… But a lot of these issues come with a lot of pain and are difficult to talk about for a lot of people. And it's so much more interesting, and poignant to see things through a human lens, especially in documentary I think - to really feel something. That's how you really get your message through. So I guess, watch this film because it's important to be active and engaged in social justice - especially in our world today. These are pretty special people that speak their minds. Watch this film because you’re invested in advancing awareness and fair treatment, and want to engage in a larger and evolving discussion about identity.
But if nothing else, watch it for the music, it’s really a beautiful score. Dave Eggar Chuck Palmer and Sean Robinson are kind of legends and just amazing people, not to mention contributions from Amy Lee! And their music really makes it a pleasure to sit there even when what you’re watching might not be easy to experience.
How do personal and universal themes work in your film?
I think we all can understand feelings of abandonment, of alienation, and also of joy and triumph. We all hope to transcend them, right? But for the people I spoke to for this film, all these feelings are so much more immediate. They’re really on the front lines contending with all these emotions, and where they fit into society. I don’t think it’s appreciated enough just how much bravery that takes, especially for people who don’t have the privilege of a public platform. I’m a straight white woman and throughout the course of working on this I worried about doing this right. Like who am I to tell this story? So I always tried to be sensitive to others’ experiences and struggles, and to walk all the way in their shoes. I think there’s always a push-pull in journalism between being sensitive and being factual.
So I always wanted to make sure my characters felt comfortable and that I was doing right by them as much as I could – their voices, not my imposing framework. So in terms of universal themes in I Am Her, I hope that worked rather well, because the issues it addresses don’t just affect this population: feeling safe, feeling taken care of, part of a community… struggling with questions of who and what you are, and whether that’s OK. Money. Sex. Shelter. Faith. Alchemy of self. We can all relate to that, so hopefully that triggers a deep empathy for the viewer. And I think the music score takes it to a whole other level. It’d really be nothing without that – I got so lucky.
Dave, Chuck, Sean – and contributions from so many musical legends – honestly make the film. Every moment gets perfectly seasoned by the score. Music was a big influence in this film too, since so much of it is about performance, creative expression, emotional outlets, and one of the main characters is a rapper. Even the title, and the main credits song, is an original song by an amazing transgender artist, Shagasyia Diamond, who I met during the course of making this and agreed to lend her talents too. She so perfectly encapsulated the eloquent grit, beauty, and intrepid soul I was trying to portray. And that’s kind of what I always tried to do here – let these people tell their own stories, with their own words.
How have the script and film evolved over the course of their development and production?
Well in documentary you don't really have a script, at least in the traditional sense... you're following where your story and your characters lead. So things flow very organically, but that also means there's no "second take" - you just have to go with the moment. When I originally pitched this as a documentary I really wasn’t sure what the particular narrative arc would be. I just knew there were a lot of potent pieces to juggle. I guess the film really evolved most, and surprised me most, in how it took on a life of its own. I thought I’d choose a couple characters and tell their stories, but I didn’t realize how intensely their stories would interweave, thematically and in their lives.
Themes of rebirth, of designing your own self, of safe space, of finding your own voice, of fighting for yourself and your community. I started seeing so much symbolism everywhere when I was working with my characters that it sometimes became surreal! I thought there would be a couple narrative threads that I could neatly tie up but it became so much more interesting and intertwined.
What type of feedback have you received so far?
We’ve received such positive feedback so far! I feel really grateful. We’re official selection at I think ten festivals so far, and we won Best Documentary at our premiere and recently another after that. It’s been a pleasant – well, not surprise exactly, but sort of. It’s kind of insane to try and make a documentary by yourself. And I wasn’t sure what would come of it or if anything I did would be worth anything.
When people find out the production was a solo venture they look at me like I’ve got a third head. But it’s been amazing! And then - it felt like Shangrilah when Dave and Chuck and Sean came on board – they became this incredible team of inspiration and support, and I really couldn’t have done this without them. The feedback we’ve gotten has been really motivating, frankly. I’ve been really honored that the film seems to touch something in people, some universal tender spot. I feel so lucky.
Has the feedback surprised or challenged your point of view?
Some of the critique I’ve received from some awesome advisors, at Columbia and out in the world, has definitely pushed me, and I always want that. I don’t know if it’s surprised me but it’s certainly driven me to bear down on clear narrative structure. I know sometimes I get too impressionistic and their feedback helps me to make sure I clarify things, card out the wool and weave a cohesive story. And make sure you’re not creating compassion fatigue. That’s sometimes hard when you’re in the middle of things, especially as a one-woman-band! You’re so connected to the story. But it’s really good advice and I’m working towards that.
What are you looking to achieve by having your film more visible on www.wearemovingstories.com?
It’s so cool to be on the other side of an interview! I guess I hope to provide another dimension and behind-the-scenes for the film. I Am Her has really been a labor of love and I feel like a proud parent that can’t stop talking about her kid. I feel like you guys ask insightful questions that really shed light on both the process and the intent of filmmaking and filmmaker, and I really like that. I hope people will read this and get interested enough not just in my film, but in advocacy for the issues it addresses.
Who do you need to come on board (producers, sales agents, buyers, distributors, film festival directors, journalists) to amplify this film’s message?
The door’s open to everyone! I’d love more eyes on the film. We’re in the festival circuit right now, and we have our fingers and toes crossed for the really big festivals like Sundance. We also welcome investment in post production. We (proudly) did this on a seriously shoe string budget. If a sales agent wants to preselect the film for distribution that would be great. After it tours the festival circuit we may look for an online platform like IndieFlicks or Sundance Doc Club or Netflix, where the film can be available for public consumption. Another viable option might be syndication/potential TV broadcasting.
What type of impact and/or reception would you like this film to have?
I really hope this film can serve to open up the conversation we’ve been having in mainstream media on gender identity, sexuality, power structures, and poverty. I hope it adds positively and moves a few hearts and minds.
What’s a key question that will help spark a debate or begin a conversation about this film?
What are you made of?
Would you like to add anything else?
I just want to thank everyone who lent their time, their heart, their stories, their talents, to this project. Thank you.
What are the key creatives developing or working on now?
I think we’re all continually involved in juggling several projects at once. The more busy and invested we are the more our creative juices keep flowing. We’re all just trying to make good work.
Interview: November 2016
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We Are Moving Stories embraces new voices in drama, documentary, animation, TV, web series and music video. If you have just made a film - we'd love to hear from you. Or if you know a filmmaker - can you recommend us? More info: Carmela
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I Am Her
Out of the limelight, under the streetlight, enter the world of NYC’s transgender underclass. One church opens its doors for aid, and sometimes, a little drag show magic. But all is not as it seems.
Length: WIP, approx 34 min
Director, Producer, Editor, Cinematographer: Sasha Pezenik
Music by Dave Eggar and Chuck Palmer
Music Editing and Additional Scene Editing by Sean Robinson
Additional Music Co-production by Andrew Stensaas and Amy Lee
About the writer, director and producer:
Sasha Pezenik is a multimedia storyteller born, bred and currently based in NYC. She graduated Summa Cum Laude from Sarah Lawrence in 2013 and got her Masters' from Columbia Journalism School's documentary specialty in 2016 and now spends her time telling true tales internationally. Her passion, pen and camera lens all focus on spotlighting social fault lines through raw human stories.
Looking for (producers, sales agents, buyers, distributors, film festival directors, journalists):
All are welcome
Funders:
Columbia Journalism School
Made in association with: Columbia Journalism School, The Documentary Project
Where will it be screened in the next month?
Filmette Film Festival, IFP/Roadhouse, Roma Cinema, Transfluential, CJS DocFest, Best Shorts