Awareness Film Festival - I Am Borderline: Self-Regulation Project
I Am Borderline uses the experience of multiple characters to portray the realities and struggles of living with borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Interview with Writer/Director Betsy Usher
Watch I Am Borderline: Self-Regulation Project here:
Congratulations! Why did you make your film?
Thank you! I made this film because I wanted to reach people with borderline personality disorder (bpd) who are alone, confused, and looking for hope and validation. I am a psychologist who works with bpd and have people with bpd in my personal life. People with bpd are extremely stigmatized and misunderstood. There are little to no films on understanding bpd through the eyes of someone with this experience. The other goal of the film was for the audience to better understand their loved ones.
Imagine I’m a member of the audience. Why should I watch this film?
You should watch this film if you or someone you love has bpd, if you want to be educated on this topic, if you are a therapist looking to help explain the borderline experience to a patient, or if you are feeling lost emotionally and think you may have bpd.
How do personal and universal themes work in your film?
Universally, mental health is extremely misunderstood not only for bpd but many other mental health diagnoses. However, many people suffer from mental health issues such as depression, anxiety, bipolar, etc. It is not uncommon to have a mental health-related issue and feel stigmatized. The more individuals are educated and the more compassion and empathy that is created, the less stigmatized mental health-related issues will be.
On a personal level, those who are struggling and feel misunderstood have the chance to watch a film and feel less stigmatized and more part of a group of other people who struggle with similar experiences. It is extremely hard for many people to understand how others feel and to put themselves in others’ shoes. Film has a brilliant way of helping us empathize as humans to others and, if only for a few short moments, feel what someone else may be experiencing.
How have the script and film evolved over the course of their development and production?
I wrote the film on my way home from work at Wright Institute Los Angeles (WILA) where we started to create a program aimed at helping individuals with emotional dysregulation. On my car ride home I heard this song called “I Found” by Amber Run and this entire short film unfolded in my head. The second I walked in the door I was sharing the details with my husband. The next day, I went into Dr. Michele Gomes’ (our clinical director at WILA.org) office and asked if I could make this film for our clinic.
Despite having no experience writing or directing, Dr. Gomes was very supportive and encouraged me to move forward. I recruited Thom Kuo, a long time friend and cinematographer, and he and I talked on the phone and laid out the story. The biggest obstacle was our budget. We had none. One of the original ideas was having Amanda Gardner (the dancer) smashing the large dance studio mirror at the end, but we couldn’t afford to break that. I also originally had wanted two younger dancers around age 6 and 14 to portray the other parts of the borderline dancer, but it was difficult to do. I recruited friends who are professional actors and would work for free. This led to everyone being a similar age and I originally wanted more diversity.
I desperately wanted to use the Amber Run song but wasn’t able to get the rights so my husband (Tommy Dill) and I wrote the song together in his music studio. The song was fairly different and changed the vibe of the film, however, it made it feel even more personal. Other than those few things, we were able to get my exact image on film and it was the most incredible experience to watch images in my head come to life. Being a director was similar to being a being a psychologist and I loved it and working with the actors.
What type of feedback have you received so far?
We have received almost all-positive feedback by the borderline community as well as the mental health field. Many individuals with the borderline experience told us they feel validated after watching this video, less alone, finally understood, and tearful that the bpd population finally have a voice. It’s been so fulfilling for me to read the comments on our youtube page and see how many people this film is touching; I can’t even explain how much it fills me up.
Has the feedback surprised or challenged your point of view?
It has been not a surprise but a relief.
What are you looking to achieve by having your film more visible on www.wearemovingstories.com?
This film’s sole purpose is to reach people with the borderline experience and have them feel touched and validated in some way. Hopefully it can motivate people to get help with a therapist who specializes in bpd like we do at Wright Institute Los Angeles. We are also hoping to inspire social change in the treatment for bpd. Many therapists are not trained in knowing how to look for in individuals with bpd, so more training needs implemented in the mental health community. It is remarkable how negative the stigma is with bpd and how much fear surrounds working with someone with this diagnosis.
I believe if more therapists could understand the borderline experience by watching this film more empathy would surface, causing therapist to have more compassion, tolerance, and patience, which is vital to treating bpd. We Are Moving Stories helps share issues that are underserved and need attention, and to help bring about social change.
Who do you need to come on board (producers, sales agents, buyers, distributors, film festival directors, journalists) to amplify this film’s message?
Counseling centers, mental health clinics, film festivals, and journalists.
What type of impact and/or reception would you like this film to have?
First and foremost, I would like this film to reach individuals who relate to the borderline experience, who are in their rooms searching on the Internet for validation. Many people don’t even know they are borderline and live their entire lives thinking they are just bad, they will do better next time, and they are undeserving of love. Individuals who are properly diagnosed can begin to understand who they are and how to live in this world in a less painful way. This film is meant to help educate friends, family, and therapists. People who are in the lives of someone with the borderline experience can struggle to understand what the borderline is going through and why they behave in a certain way one minute and a different one the next.
Empathy is a crucial element in helping someone with bpd but it can be very difficult to have at times. I hope this film will help show what the borderline experience is, even though this is not the only version of how the story looks, and each person is unique. This story is one way bpd can express itself but there are millions of different versions that are unique to each individual. Individuals with the borderline are not bad, just like individuals with schizophrenia are not bad; they are just misunderstood. Individuals with bpd can not help their symptoms just as much as a schizophrenia can not help that they may hallucinate, yet we somehow blame them for how they are, it is unfair and confusing.
What’s a key question that will help spark a debate or begin a conversation about this film?
What can be done to help decrease the stigma of bpd?
Would you like to add anything else?
I would like to thank my team; Thom Kuo (Cinematographer), Jared Pecht (camera assistant/gaffer/colorists), Tommy Dill (composer), & Doug Usher (editor), and Michele Gomes (Clinical Director of WILA). I would also like to thank my cast for all their donated time and support for this project Amanda Gardner, Lucy Walsh, Danielle Keaton, Jeff D’Agostino, and Josh Goldman.
What are the key creatives developing or working on now?
I have just written a new short film with Thom Kuo as my cinematographer on sexual assault against women titled “The Voices of Warriors”. We will begin production in early November. In the works after that is a film on raising awareness of gender fluidity.
Interview: October 2016
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We Are Moving Stories embraces new voices in drama, documentary, animation, TV, web series and music video. If you have just made a film - we'd love to hear from you. Or if you know a filmmaker - can you recommend us? More info: Carmela
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I Am Borderline: Self-Regulation Project
I Am Borderline uses the experience of multiple characters to portray the realities and struggles of living with borderline personality disorder (BPD).
Length: 4:35
Crew:
Director & Writer: Betsy Usher
Cinematographer: Thom Kuo
Editor: Doug Usher
Music: Tommy Dill & Betsy Usher
Camera assistant/gaffer/colorist: Jared Pecht
Marketing Executive: Michele Gomes
About the writer, director and producer:
Dr. Betsy Usher (Writer/Director)
Director and writer Dr. Betsy Usher is a clinical psychologist at Wright Institute Los Angeles, specializing in borderline personality disorder and women’s mental health issues. Recently, Dr. Usher has taken on writing and directing short films in order to bring more awareness to mental health issues to the community. Dr. Usher’s directorial debut, “I Am Borderline: Self-Regulation Project”, won Art With Impacts June 2016 mental health film competition. Since then, “I Am Borderline” has been admitted into numerous film festivals including: Awareness Film Festival: Los Angeles, REEL Recovery Film Festival: New York, Los Angeles CineFest, Women’s Only Entertainment Film Festival, Pictoclik Film Festival, Monkey Bread Film Festival and Voiceless International Film Festival.
Key cast:
Jeff D'Agostino
Amanda Gardner
Josh Goldman
Danielle Keaton
Lucy Walsh
Looking for (producers, sales agents, buyers, distributors, film festival directors, journalists):
Funders: Betsy Usher and Thom Kuo
Made in association with: Wright Institute Los Angeles
Release date: May 2016