Hot Docs 2020 – Her Mothers
In this intimate tale of love and freedom, a lesbian couple contends with homophobia in increasingly radicalized Hungary as they struggle to create a family through adoption and to define their roles in motherhood.
Interview with Co-Writer/Co-Director Asia Dér, Co-Writer/Co-Director Sári Haragonics and Producer
Noémi Veronika Szakonyi
Congratulations! Why did you make your film?
We met a Hungarian gay couple in Norway, who moved there with their adopted child. They told us that most of the rainbow families leave Hungary the moment they get a child because of the hostile atmosphere. In Hungary rainbow families officially don’t exist, although there must be around 700 families like that.
When we met Nóra and Virág, and learned how strongly and patiently they are working on creating a family together, we knew immediately that we have to tell their story to initiate a dialogue about this unfair, cynical situation in Hungary.
Imagine I’m a member of the audience. Why should I watch this film?
This film is a slowly evolving, meditative journey of becoming a family. It allows the audience to not only witness the intimate struggles of everyday life but also lets them live through the most important decisions the protagonists have to make for their desired future. The film offers a timely, universal story through a very personal perspective with the looming radicalization in the subtext, which is a growing issue around the world right now.
How do personal and universal themes work in your film?
The topic of Her Mothers is about motherhood and forming a family. This is a very universal theme anyone can relate to around the world. We decided to focus on the most simple, everyday life moments of this complex situation without highlighting all that is happening in a rainbow family. Because of the three years we spent together, with and without the camera our relationship became very strong with the protagonists, which allowed us to get as close as possible with our camera. We believe the audience can feel this connection while watching the film and can get closer to Virág and Nóra themselves.
How have the script and film evolved over the course of their development?
Our original focus was on how Virag and Nora, a same-sex couple can start a family in Hungary and what is their pathway. But after we started filming, and Melissa, their daughter arrived into their life, we realized that the forming of their family with two mothers and an adopted child in a radicalized country is something that interests us even more. While editing we realized that the strongest scenes we have are the ones where Nóra honestly lets us into her despair struggling with herself and with the new situation. This led us to the decision to have Nóra as the main protagonist and let her lead the audience into the journey of creating their family.
What type of feedback have you received so far?
We will have our world premiere at Hot Docs, so we haven’t received any real audience feedback yet. We have screened the movie to our protagonists, which was a very exciting moment in the finishing process. Nóra first was shocked that she became such an important character in the film, but after they showed it to their daughter, who loved it, Nóra made her peace with it. On top of that, Melissa - after watching the film - started remembering and talking about her past, before she arrived at her forever home. This is an important step in every adoptive family, and it was a beautiful moment, in fact, one of the motivations for Virág and Nóra to make the film in the first place is to be able to show their child in the future, how much they were waiting for her.
What are you looking to achieve by having your film more visible on www.wearemovingstories.com?
We would like to be part of the We Are Moving Stories community, and share our film and bring this message to wider audiences around the world regardless of age, race, social background or gender.
Who do you need to come on board (producers, sales agents, buyers, distributors, film festival directors, journalists) to amplify this film’s message?
We would like to invite buyers, distributors, film festival directors and journalists, so our film can find its audience, generate discussion about its topic, and hopefully even change mindsets.
What type of impact and/or reception would you like this film to have?
We would be extremely happy if the film would generate conversation and discussion about the topic it's raising. In that sense we would say we have three goals with the film:
Firstly, to plant the seed into more conservative mindsets and give them a glimpse into a life of a rainbow family, how similar their struggles and happy moments are to a heterosexual couple.
Secondly, to encourage people who want to adopt as same-sex couples in conservative countries like Hungary and let them know that it is possible and worth it.
Finally, that for anybody, being gay or heterosexual, it is a journey to think about our roles in our family, our relation to our parents, kids or partner.
What other projects are the key creatives developing or working on now?
SARI: I am working on my second feature-length documentary called Don’t worry, Sari! It is a continuation of my graduation film (Coming Face to Face) which was about the loss of my mother and about how my brother, my father and I overcome pain and accept her absence. This film is dealing with the topic of what my mother’s absence has created in our family dynamics and how we can step out of our encapsulated roles. The film follows three men of three different generations: my father (60), my cousin (40) and my brother (25) and me as their closest female relative.
ASIA: I am working on my second feature-length documentary, I Haven't Died. The film is about a middle-aged, successful man who gets pancreatic cancer and survives. The film explores how a near-death experience affects the life that comes after. What can one do with a second chance? The answer to these existential questions might be much less elevated as we tend to think, but definitely very human.
NOEMI: I am producing Asia’s second feature documentary (I Haven’t Died) and I will produce two more feature documentaries and a VR project.
Interview: May 2020
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Her Mothers
In this intimate tale of love and freedom, a lesbian couple contends with homophobia in increasingly radicalized Hungary as they struggle to create a family through adoption and to define their roles in motherhood.
Length: 1:15:00
Director: Asia Dér, Sári Haragonics
Producer: Sára László, Marcell Gerő, Noémi Veronika Szakonyi
Writer: Asia Dér, Sári Haragonics
About the writer, director and producer:
ASIA DÉR graduated as a documentary director from the DOCnomads MA program. She is working on her second feature-length documentary, I Haven’t Died. She is a presidium member of the Hungarian Documentary Association.
SÁRI HARAGONICS graduated as a documentary director at the University of Theatre and Film Arts. She is working on her second, personal documentary-feature, Don’t worry, Sári! She is a doctoral student researching how participatory video affects our social relations.
The films produced by Campfilm address social issues and have a strong cinematic demand. The works completed so far have participated and gained recognition at both national and international festivals, such as the 29th Festival International de Programmes Audiovisuels – FIPA, the 62nd San Sebastian IFF, 45th Director's Fortnight in Cannes or the 43rd IFF Rotterdam.
Key cast: Asia Dér (Director), Sári Haragonics (Director), Sára László (producer), Marcell Gerő (producer), Noémi Veronika Szakonyi (co-producer), Flóra Erdélyi (editor)
Looking for: distributors, buyers, film festival directors, journalists
Facebook: Her Mothers / Anyáim története
Hashtags used: #motherhood, #adoption, #LMBTQ, #Hungary, #family, #inclusion, #acceptance, #intimate
Other: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt12216968/?ref_=nm_knf_t1
Funders: Self-funded, Sundance Institute DFP Post-production grant and HBO